关于评论的字数限制,进行了调整

     萧盛博客,作为广大学员的交流社区,最近面临考试,大家与萧盛老师的网上交流越来越频繁,应广大学员的要求,在评论区域把原来1000字的限制,调整为3000字。希望这里能给大家一个好的交流环境。
    这里主要为学习交流,为了不浪费大家的精力和宝贵时间。请广大学员不要发于学习无关的信息;更不要发与法律法规相违背的信息,一经发现,立即删除,并封闭该学员账号!
    感谢大家对萧盛博客一直以来的支持,萧老师也愿意为广大学员多付出一些努力,协助大家能顺利通过博士入学考试。
    在2010年的春节来临之前,提前祝福大家家庭幸福!学习进步!考博成功!
    


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回复回复caicai[2012-02-17 11:25 AM | del]
肖老师:
您好! 这是我另外一篇作文,麻烦您再帮我修改一下啊!谢谢!
ON   Aging    Society

    The world is profoundly aging , china too. the phenomenon  is  being everywhere in the  world. There are the old. We don't worry about this.
    Tt  is  true  that  the  old  have more experience than  the young .the have  rich wisdom. most of  enterprise  hire  them. Indeed, many uncle is  70  years  old, his boss  let  him  continue  working  as  engineer. Another man   who i  know  he is  64 years  old.  he is  a professor  in  university. Though  he  don't  want to work ,the leader  answer  him  to  get  high  salary  for  his  working .All  of  this, the  old has  value.
     However, we must  bear  the  burden  casued  by  the aging problem. we  must  face  it.any  society  must  be   care  of  the  old, we   don't  think  the  old  is  trouble .  Besides,the  goverment  should  make  the plan  about  the  old.
     TO  couclue,  don't  worry  about  the  old,  we  should  respect them, we should  agree  the  old  and  get  them  more  loves.

回复来自 萧老师 的评论 萧老师 于 2012-02-17 07:05 PM 回复
小caicai呀, 你能不能按我上次给你改的样子自己重写一下--这样才对你真正有用嘛;别重复老问题就是进步,一定注意句子的正确和完整性哈。重写后我一定改哟。
回复回复萧老师[2010-01-17 00:03 AM | del]
哈哈 题目这儿就不提了, 上课时再讲吧, 害怕引起不必要的误解和混乱。
而且, 再次提醒大家, 我的GS作文法不在于能写某些题目, 而在于拥有智慧和眼光(价值判断)去写天下文章, 这一点我们当然还会在课堂的阅读训练中进一步强化大家的思维。
回复回复fanqin[2010-01-16 10:47 PM | del]
谢谢萧老师!改过之好了不少。确实连贯方面有待提高,以前写模板式的文章太多了,很少能真正谢谢自己的感受。呵呵,还有一些搭配和词性的小错误,不该出现的。

希望老师提供几个题目给大家练练笔哈!作文肯定得练才能提高哈。谢啦!
回复回复studentzhou[2010-01-15 10:29 AM | del]
萧老师好,这是上次课后所写的作文,请老师不吝赐教,谢谢。
可能写得比较简单,不知以这样的单词、句型来写,可以拿多少分。
Dreams
As night comes, and the city becomes quiet, Everyone begins to dream in his sleep, but what about the dreams in the daytime or in our real-life? All the popular do not have dreams, some of them don’t want to pursuit anything , some of them just idle away day after day. In fact, We need dreams no matter they are ideology or significance. If dreams die, life is just like an angle with a broken-wing, how pity it is! The angle would never fly again until it recovers. If dreams die, life seems as a barren field, how sad it is! The field would not have a harvest unless there presents a miracle.
Maybe someone will say that dreams are Utopia without any usefulness in a way.
In my personal view, though dreams are only imaginable thing most of the time, they are so necessary in people’s life that we should not ignore them. For example, a child who dreams to be a scientist may study hard in order to let the dream come true, his enthusiasm comes from the dreams. or one person who has great will may spend all his life on pursuing a certain dream. Dreams make the world more creative and beautiful. Once a philosopher said that life is elsewhere, yes , it is; dreams are also elsewhere; but just these elements which always keep a distance with us have great power. The power in spirit can improve one’s personal life and even progress social process.

回复来自 萧老师 的评论 萧老师 于 2010-01-15 12:25 AM 回复
你是周何呢, haha? 明显没有按我说的方式去写,感觉很乱。单词句型也亮点不多。哈哈,就关心分数吗?这要看阅卷人的心理了,你这样的作文不尴不尬,让阅卷人员难受,只能给个趋中的分数。不过,你的潜力很好,只要有意识地训练我的GS作文法,进步因很快。何况,你要相信自己-- 你难道不是学文学的吗?
以下只提供连贯及句法方面的修改:
Dreams
As night comes, and the city becomes quiet, everyone begins to dream in his sleep, but what about the dreams in the daytime or in our real life? Those who do not have dreams don’t want to pursue anything and just idle away day after day. In fact, we need dreams no matter they are ideology or significance. If dreams die, life is just like an angel with a broken-wing, how pitiful it is! The angel would never fly again until it recovers. If dreams die, life seems as a barren field, how sad it is! The field would not have a harvest unless there appears a miracle.
Maybe someone will say that dreams are Utopia without any usefulness in a way.
In my personal view, though dreams are only imaginable thing most of the time, they are so necessary in people’s life that we should not ignore them. A child who dreams to be a scientist may study hard in order to let the dream come true, with endless enthusiasm coming from the dreams. One who has great will may spend all his life pursuing a certain dream. Dreams make the world more creative and beautiful. Once a philosopher said that life lies elsewhere; yes , it does. Dreams are also elsewhere, but just these elements which always keep a distance with us have great power. The power in spirit can improve one’s personal life and even promote social progression.

回复来自 萧老师 的评论 萧老师 于 2010-01-15 12:52 AM 回复
哈哈,周何呢? 只管分数吗? 明显没有按我的GS写作法去设计控制,单词句型也亮点不多。不尴不尬,阅卷人一般比较难受,只能给个稍微趋中的分数。不过你的潜力很大,照我说的GS法有意识的多训练阅读写作,你会很快进步的 -- 相信自己,你难道不是学文学吗?
以下仅提供连贯及句型方面的修改供参考:

Dreams
As night comes, and the city becomes quiet, everyone begins to dream in his sleep, but what about the dreams in the daytime or in our real life? Those who do not have dreams don’t want to pursue anything and just idle away day after day. In fact, we need dreams no matter they are ideology or significance. If dreams die, life is just like an angel with a broken-wing, how pitiful it is! The angel would never fly again until it recovers. If dreams die, life seems as a barren field, how sad it is! The field would not have a harvest unless there appears a miracle.
Maybe someone will say that dreams are Utopia without any usefulness in a way.
In my personal view, though dreams are only imaginable thing most of the time, they are so necessary in people’s life that we should not ignore them. A child who dreams to be a scientist may study hard in order to let the dream come true, with endless enthusiasm coming from the dreams. One who has great will may spend all his life pursuing a certain dream. Dreams make the world more creative and beautiful. Once a philosopher said that life lies elsewhere; yes , it does. Dreams are also elsewhere, but just these elements which always keep a distance with us have great power. The power in spirit can improve one’s personal life and even promote social progression.
回复回复萧老师[2010-01-15 02:46 AM | del]
供段落中基本连贯性的修改(划线部分) 注意你还没有很好地掌握分号的用法或者对逗号加and的用法还不甚熟练 多在阅读中体会 有关如何利用出题的线索更好地把你这样的思路写出来 我们上课时再说吧

When it comes to the word - dream, some wonderful feelings such as encouragement, yearning, even magnificence may be aroused.  Either from the poem of Langston Hughes - "dreams", or from the song of Susan - "I dream a dream", which made this once ordinary village lady an Englandstar,  one is seemingly able to see an invariable truth that, one should grasp his/her dream, work hard for it, then someday, ultimately, the dream will come true.(哈哈,此处用好逗号会更连贯,哈哈,更靓)
But I cannot quite agree with it.  To me, all dreams, neither magnificent nor tiny, can be divided into two categories: some will come true, while others will never be more than a dream.  To the former, certainly, we should hold fast, and try our best to carry them out.  On the contrary, if fundamental factors are absent, additional effort only means no effect; perhaps, we
should stop and consider the dream again.  If the conditions are out of one’s search, turning to another possible dream will be a better choice.

In my teenage, I once dreamed to be an archaeologist, traveling on the sea; wandering over pyramids near the Nile; walking in the desert with past memory covered; even discovering the secrets in the mausoleum of ancient emperors.  How exciting it would be!  Nevertheless, being an archaeologist poses as prerequisites some special traits like energy, braveness, adaptivity, patience, etc.. Instead of idling in the museum, the archaeologist may work in the wilderness mostly.  And this is not all.  Can I achieve it?  Unfortunately, I must acknowledge that it’s far beyond my capability.  Perhaps, I should pursue dreams suitable for me, or belonging to me.  Realizing that, I didn't feel frustrated any more, since even God, without necessary conditions,would fail.  And as goes the saying --if God closes one door, he may open a new one for you.  Therefore, before firmly insisting on the new dream, you’d better recognize if it really belongs to you.


回复回复fanqin[2010-01-15 00:34 AM | del]
萧老师好!上次两篇是汉翻英哈,觉得自己翻得有点口水话,没太有英语的感觉。
谢谢老师的肯定和指点!有问题一定及时请教。

下面是英语作文,有关dreams的。请多提建议,多谢!
  

When it comes to the word - dream, some wonderful feeling such as encouraging, yearning, even magnificent may be aroused.  Either from the poem of Langston Hughes - "dreams", nor from the song of Susan - "I dream a dream", which made this once ordinary village lady an Englandstar,  it seems to be an invariable truth that, one should gasps his/her dream; works hard for it; then someday ultimately, the dream will come true.

  But I cannot quite agree with it.  To me, all dreams, neither magnificent nor tiny, can be divided into two categories: some will come true; while others would never more than a dream.  To the former, certainly, we should hold fast, and try our best to carry them out.  On the contrary, if fundamental factors are absent, additional effort only means no effect; perhaps, we
should stop and consider it again.  If the conditions are out of one’s search, turning to another possible dream would be a better choice.  

  In my teenage, I once dreamed to be an archaeologist, traveling on the sea; wandering over pyramids near the Nile; walking in the desert with past memory covered; even discovering the secrets in the mausoleum of ancient emperors.  How exciting it would be!  Nevertheless, being an archaeologist, some special traits like energetic, brave, adaptive, patient, etc. should be
possessed; and instead of idling in the museum, the archaeologist may work in the wilderness mostly.  And this is not all.  Can I achieve it?  Unfortunately, I must acknowledge that it’s far beyond my capability.  Perhaps, I should pursue dreams suitable for me, or belong to me.  Realizing that, I didn't feel frustrated any more, since without necessary conditions, even God
would fail.  And as it is saying, if God closes one door, he may open a new one for you.  In addition, before firmly insisting on the new dream, you’d better recognize if it really belongs to you.
回复来自 萧老师 的评论 萧老师 于 2010-01-15 02:54 AM 回复
不错 如果是在规定时间内写到这种水平 考试是能那六到七成的分 你有很大的上升空间 评论中仅仅提供的是有关连贯性的修改
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